5 ways to a calmer you!
I caught myself slipping into my old ways last week, I turned into a moaning Minnie complaining about all of the things I had to do and that NO-ONE gave me any help and it was ALWAYS left to me to do EVERYTHING! I was about to go on a rampage around our home to tidy up ALL OF THE MESS, when it slowly dawned on me that most of the mess was mine! My husband calmly pointed out that if I needed any help with anything I simply had to ask. Well when you put it like that I thought……
But it reminded me that we have to make an effort to achieve what it is we strive for. One of my goals when I started my counselling journey was to become a calmer person to be less anxious and for the most part I have achieved this. But every now and then, I can slip back into old behaviours and forget the make an effort to keep going with the changes I have made. Change doesn’t happen overnight and it takes time. Below is my reminder of what actions I decided to take to become a calmer version of myself, I hope you find some of them helpful, try saying them out loud and see how it feels to say them:
I will put myself first
Sometimes we automatically do things we are asked without actually stopping to think about whether we really want to do it. We want to do the best for everyone that we can end up spreading ourselves too thinly and wearing ourselves out. The result being we end up resentful or stressed out as we didn’t get done what we had planned.
I will not feel guilty about putting myself first
We finally say no to something or someone and instead of celebrating this small success we end up berating ourselves and convincing ourselves that we are bad person for not just getting on with it. But let us be honest, would you want someone to do something for you that they didn’t want to do? Do a little bit or even a lot of what makes you happy, that’s the best way to achieve being happy, when you do it for yourself.
I will make a list
We often try to achieve too much at once like we are superhuman! I’m not talking about a big long list, just a list of what it is you want to concentrate on and then put them in order of importance. Work your way through the list and don’t forget to celebrate when you achieve your end goal. And if you don’t get to your end goal, don’t berate yourself, just think ‘well, I have a different end goal and that’s ok’.
I will ask for help
Do we have to do everything on our own, do all of the responsibilities lie at our door, or is that just a habit we’ve gotten into! It’s ok to ask for help, it doesn’t mean we’ve failed, it means we recognise that we can’t do it all on our own and it’s nice to have a bit of company along our journey. And you may even make someone else’s day by asking them to help.
I will take some time out
We can often forget that doing nothing is sometimes all we need to do, taking time to just ‘be’ can be all we need. But instead of enjoying the moment we ruminate about all of the things we need to do. I often see posts on social media stating ‘a catch up with friends is all you need’, and I wonder how many people just catch up with themselves.
After all we are the expert on what we need……