5 reasons couples won’t access counselling

Why couples avoid therapy

When I first started out as a counsellor I was both excited and proud to tell people that I had re-trained and was particularly proud that it was in a profession that could help people.  Fellow counsellors who had been in the counselling profession for years would joke with me and tell me that the time would come when I wouldn’t tell people that I was a counsellor as I would get all of their problems, but that hasn’t happened yet.  In fact my interest has grown, my passion is now to work with couples, why help one person when you can help two.

Sadly couples often leave things too late for their relationship to be saved and I think in the UK there is still a stigma around accessing counselling services, I think it is changing but slowly.  In the USA and other countries ‘therapy’ is part and parcel of their lives and considered the ‘norm’.

Reasons

In my experience there are a number of reasons why couples don’t want to attend counselling:

1. They don’t know what to expect
   • Any new situation can be scary especially if it is a new experience
2. The Therapist will ‘make me say things I don’t want to say’
   • Therapists and counsellors do not have the ability to make people talk or say anything they don’t want to say. I would love a magic wand to be able to do this J
3. We have family and friends to talk to
   • The beauty of accessing counselling is that counsellors are trained to be objective and to help couples find their own solutions, we facilitate the process of change and open the awareness of couples to behaviours that they have been previously unaware of
4. They don’t have time
   • If something is important you will find the time, counselling can be the difference between saving a relationship or letting it fail
5. The cost
   • Again, if something is important to you, you will find the money for it. I firmly believe that accessing counselling whether individual or couples is the best investment that can be made for ourselves.  It is certainly the best thing that I have spent money on!